Morbius
by Hans A. Carpenter
Release Date: March 30, 2022
Director: Daniel Espinosa
Starring: Jared Leto,
Matt Smith, and Adria Arjona
Mister Marquee Says:
UNFORGIVABLE
Number: 0/5
Dr. Michael Morbius (Jared Leto) spliced vampire bat DNA with human DNA in an attempt to cure his rare genetic blood disease. In a shock to no one but the good Doctor, the “cure” turns him into a living vampire with superhuman powers.
Which is more frustrating: a movie that’s awful from beginning to end, or one that’s pretty good before falling off a cliff? While the former brings nothing to the table, the latter, for its positive virtues, can be the most frustrating. Morbius is a shot that misses the mark be traveling three-fourths of the way to the target before curving back at the shooter.
I came into this movie with low expectations. Morbius is a movie that never was built to stand on its own merits. The titular character is a B list Spider-Man villain at best who only has a movie so Sony can milk what marrow is left of the Spider-Man IP that doesn’t feature Spidey. Contrary to the bait and switch marketing, this movie has pretty much nothing to do with the good Spider-Man movies.
Still, even at the half way mark, I was thinking to myself “wow, this is actually pretty decent.” Jared Leto, while generally overrated, has a quiet restraint that works for the Morbius character while Matt Smith brings a gleeful creepiness to Milo.
The last act fell from a really, really high ledge and exploded on the pavement. The last half hour or so is so disjointed that scenes just begin with no location established. Nothing makes any sense, it’s just a painful train wreck.
Unlike the post credit scenes of the two Venom movies that promise good movies after a bad one, Morbius features two scenes that promise worse movies after a bad one. Marvel is letting Sony play with more of their toys, and Sony is bashing those toys together and leaving them in the sandbox. At least Fant4stic had the decency to be awful from the first frame. Without hope there cannot be true despair.